Kuroki’s Valentine’s Day Survival Guide

DSCF3100

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner!

Can you feel it? No?

If you’re one of the 90% of the human race who either hates Valentine’s Day or just doesn’t give a sh*t, this guide’s for you!

DSCF3098

Here are some top tips from the most “popular” otaku herself, Kuroki Tomoko! Some great suggestions on how to spend your Valentine’s Day without puking from disgust.

Don’t be sad! Don’t spend your day talking to your skull figure!

DSCF3130

Here are 10 tips and things to do for Valentine’s Day!

TIP # 1 STAY AT HOME

Ahhh.. Valentine’s Day, that one day of the year where lovers, couples, -insert ambiguous term for a relationship here-, and just plain happy, cheerful people proliferate their message of undying love and devotion! Everywhere you look there’d be hand-holding, chocolates, flowers, people showing affection for one another.  Apparently Valentine’s Day gives people the right to PDA (public display of affection) to the maximum level, quite disturbing for us normal people.

As much as possible, you ought to avoid these people! Their public display of affection will only disgust you, make you feel bitter about life, remember that ex you really do not give a crap about, or worst… make you feel the need for human interaction. *shudders*

Do yourself a favor and stay at home. Marry your bed! Valentine’s day this year is a weekend, you earned the right to just laze around all day.

DSCF3070

You can also opt to go out with friends; but really, we all know you’re all just gonna be bitter together.

TIP #2 SLEEP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT

Give yourself some love by making up for all that sleepless, stressful nights this week! Oh it’s already past noon? So whattt?

DSCF3073

Really… why wake up early on a perfectly fine weekend? It’s not like you have a date for Valentine’s Day or anything.

TIP # 3 SHOW YOUR 2D WAIFU/HUSBANDO OR CELEBRITY CRUSH SOME LOVE

Because we all know that deep inside, we all have that 2D waifu/husbando we love so much that we’re willing to spend 90% of our income on their merchandise if given the chance.

DSCF3084

Show them some extra love by “admiring” their poster, photo. Heck, why not have a dinner date with them like this guy?

P.S. This photo isn’t mine. All Hail Internet! Credits to the owner and his waifu.

If that doesn’t float your boat, you can always just go back to admiring them on the internet. Be wary of Anti-Stalker Laws.

Remember the top rules of stalking:

You DO NOT share.

You DO NOT like.

You only SCROLL.

You only LOOK.

TIP # 4 Internet!

The classic. Spend your day away surfing the net! Avoid Facebook! It’s sure to be full of your “friends” roses, chocolates, dinner, or bacon bouquets.

DSCF3088

Go to tumblr. Because in tumblr we can all be…

TIP # 5 PLAY SOME GAMES

Do I really need to explain it?

DSCF3106

 Eroge is highly recommended! GO GET THAT WAIFU / HUSBANDO. May their love fill the void.

TIP #6 PAMPER YOURSELF.

Put on that face mask. Pamper your skin. Show yourself some love! Self-love is rare these days! Valentine’s day is about all types of love, right?

DSCF3112

Why not a “massage” session?

DSCF3091

Those sore muscles aren’t gonna pamper themselves!

TIP # 7 MOVIE/ANIME/TV SERIES Marathon

Nothing makes time feel faster than a marathon through all your favorite series and movies.

DSCF3118

You won’t even notice the time. Great way to forget the holiday!

TIP #8 FOOD IS YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE

If you can only eat a whole cake in one seating once a year, this is that day. Why not add some muffins with that?

Nothing fills the void like food! Dinner dates at a fancy shmansy restaurant? Nah uh, pizza beats them all.

DSCF3122

TIP #9 Drunk buy all the sh*t you like on ebay, amiami, the internets!

You deserve all those stuff! And since no one’s gonna buy you gifts for Valentine’s Day, why not buy them yourself!

DSCF3097

Ohhhh… shiny stuff! *click**click* sold!

 TIP # 10 PETS ARE AWESOME

If in the end you still feel the need to spend your Valentine’s day with someone, spend it with your pet! They’re sure to be happy about it.

DSCF3126

If you don’t have a pet, you can always opt for a pet rock.

Patrick’s having the time of his life!

And that’s it! 10 Tips on what to do on Valentine’s Day for the not-really-sad single otaku!

By the way, try not to spend your 90%+ of your life savings while drunk shopping…

DSCF3100

Who knew pianos were so expensive?

3 Comment

  1. This is so cute and fun. Thank you for taking the time to put it together.

    1. ahnpan says: Reply

      I had so much fun doing this! I’m happy you liked it! Especially since it’s been a long time since I did something like this <3

  2. Sunshine says: Reply

    read it for the fun and i must say, reading your posts are definitely more fun than any other long dreary post i find on the internet:)

Leave a Reply