Valentine’s Day is just around the corner!
Can you feel it? No?
If you’re one of the 90% of the human race who either hates Valentine’s Day or just doesn’t give a sh*t, this guide’s for you!
Here are some top tips from the most “popular” otaku herself, Kuroki Tomoko! Some great suggestions on how to spend your Valentine’s Day without puking from disgust.
Don’t be sad! Don’t spend your day talking to your skull figure!
Here are 10 tips and things to do for Valentine’s Day!
TIP # 1 STAY AT HOME
Ahhh.. Valentine’s Day, that one day of the year where lovers, couples, -insert ambiguous term for a relationship here-, and just plain happy, cheerful people proliferate their message of undying love and devotion! Everywhere you look there’d be hand-holding, chocolates, flowers, people showing affection for one another. Apparently Valentine’s Day gives people the right to PDA (public display of affection) to the maximum level, quite disturbing for us normal people.
As much as possible, you ought to avoid these people! Their public display of affection will only disgust you, make you feel bitter about life, remember that ex you really do not give a crap about, or worst… make you feel the need for human interaction. *shudders*
Do yourself a favor and stay at home. Marry your bed! Valentine’s day this year is a weekend, you earned the right to just laze around all day.
You can also opt to go out with friends; but really, we all know you’re all just gonna be bitter together.
TIP #2 SLEEP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT
Give yourself some love by making up for all that sleepless, stressful nights this week! Oh it’s already past noon? So whattt?
Really… why wake up early on a perfectly fine weekend? It’s not like you have a date for Valentine’s Day or anything.
TIP # 3 SHOW YOUR 2D WAIFU/HUSBANDO OR CELEBRITY CRUSH SOME LOVE
Because we all know that deep inside, we all have that 2D waifu/husbando we love so much that we’re willing to spend 90% of our income on their merchandise if given the chance.
Show them some extra love by “admiring” their poster, photo. Heck, why not have a dinner date with them like this guy?
P.S. This photo isn’t mine. All Hail Internet! Credits to the owner and his waifu.
If that doesn’t float your boat, you can always just go back to admiring them on the internet. Be wary of Anti-Stalker Laws.
Remember the top rules of stalking:
You DO NOT share.
You DO NOT like.
You only SCROLL.
You only LOOK.
TIP # 4 Internet!
The classic. Spend your day away surfing the net! Avoid Facebook! It’s sure to be full of your “friends” roses, chocolates, dinner, or bacon bouquets.
Go to tumblr. Because in tumblr we can all be…
TIP # 5 PLAY SOME GAMES
Do I really need to explain it?
Eroge is highly recommended! GO GET THAT WAIFU / HUSBANDO. May their love fill the void.
TIP #6 PAMPER YOURSELF.
Put on that face mask. Pamper your skin. Show yourself some love! Self-love is rare these days! Valentine’s day is about all types of love, right?
Why not a “massage” session?
Those sore muscles aren’t gonna pamper themselves!
TIP # 7 MOVIE/ANIME/TV SERIES Marathon
Nothing makes time feel faster than a marathon through all your favorite series and movies.
You won’t even notice the time. Great way to forget the holiday!
TIP #8 FOOD IS YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE
If you can only eat a whole cake in one seating once a year, this is that day. Why not add some muffins with that?
Nothing fills the void like food! Dinner dates at a fancy shmansy restaurant? Nah uh, pizza beats them all.
TIP #9 Drunk buy all the sh*t you like on ebay, amiami, the internets!
You deserve all those stuff! And since no one’s gonna buy you gifts for Valentine’s Day, why not buy them yourself!
Ohhhh… shiny stuff! *click**click* sold!
TIP # 10 PETS ARE AWESOME
If in the end you still feel the need to spend your Valentine’s day with someone, spend it with your pet! They’re sure to be happy about it.
If you don’t have a pet, you can always opt for a pet rock.
Patrick’s having the time of his life!
And that’s it! 10 Tips on what to do on Valentine’s Day for the not-really-sad single otaku!
By the way, try not to spend your 90%+ of your life savings while drunk shopping…
Who knew pianos were so expensive?